Learn to speak your truth
“Speak when you are angry and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.” ~Laurence J. Peter
How many of us have regretted the things we have said when we are angry? I know I have. For years I would stuff my feelings deep down within my soul. I would either tell my-self that I was weak for showing my feelings or that nobody would like me if I spoke my truth. Of course my body hated me for doing that and would frequently let me know. I would get headaches, stomaches and cramps. I would feel tired and irritated. But that didn’t matter, because all I wanted to do was fit in. But I never fit in, because I was fake.
It was not until I got my very first migraine that I decided to speak my truth.
Speaking your truth is scary, because it may change your entire life. What if speaking your truth ends some of your friendships, or ends a marriage. What if you realize the person you have been married to for 10 plus years is to the person you don’t want to be with for the rest of your life? But what if speaking your truth, eliminates negative people from your life, propels you to success and opens doors that you have only dreamed about? Speaking your truth is really about self-confrontation. Dr. David Schnarch, author of Passionate Marriage, says, “When you stop putting up with your own shit, you stop putting up with other people’s shit. In other words if your someone who is manipulative, a gossiper, and passive aggressive, you will also not tolerate this behavior from other people.
“If one woman told the Truth about her life, the world would split open.” Muriel Rukeyser
So how do you learn to speak your truth?
Practice, Practice, Practice:
1. Become aware of your feelings and thoughts. How do you feel when you stay silent? How do you feel when you lose your temper? How do you feel when you speak your truth? Notice when your thoughts, words and actions are incongruent. Your body will let you know if you are speaking your truth.
2. Acknowledge your feelings. Stop running away from them. If you don’t acknowledge your feelings, then nothing will change. You’re not the only one that has felt like a loser, stupid, ugly, incompetent, a failure, etc.
3. Question your motives. Be truthful. Ask your-self why you chose to keep silent. Is it because you’re scared that you might get rejected? Are you fearful people won’t like you? What am I avoiding?
4. Acknowledge your strengths. Most women play down their assets, for fear of coming of to assertive, or bitchy. If you continuously try to adapt to other peoples environment because you wanted to be accepted, you will lose your-self, your strengths and your gifts. “It does not mean, that I have my rights and I will be heard attitude.” It means this is who I am. If you embrace both your strengths and weaknesses, and speak from your heart, then you will be speaking your truth.