In order to change ones behavior, it is best to start by learning how to identify your emotions. Emotions are essentially, fundamentally adaptive. In other words, emotions tell you everything you need to know what is going on in your life. They are your little minions. Emotions help you understand whats going on in any given situation. Emotions can motivate you and help you communicate with other people.
So for example, suppose your friend said something sarcastic and hurt your feelings about the way you look. Your emotion might be sadness, anger or disgust. Then if you attack your friend verbally or stop talking to her, she may not understand or realize that her comments offended you, and may think that you are being mean or rude. But, if you tune into your emotions and let yourself feel the pain, then you are better able to express your feelings towards your friend..
Now answer the following questions
Anger has helped me to…..
destroy relationships: Describe
keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again: Describe
Shut down: Describe
Motivate me to change my life: Describe
Fight for a worthy cause: Describe
Love has helped me to:
Enhance relationships: Describe
Forgive someone: Describe:
Be present: Describe
Keep me in a dysfunctional relationship: Describe
Tell others how I feel about them: Describe
Fear has helped me to:
Avoid dangerous situations: Describe
Avoid doing something I am scared off: Describe
Allows me to play victim: Describe
Allows me to tune into my feelings: Describe
Guilt has helped me to...
Know when I have offended someone I care about: Describe
Keeps me in dysfunctional relationships: Describe
To make amends and repair a relationship: : Describe
To know when I am acting against my own values: Describe
To have weak boundaries: Describe
Emotions are a full body system response. When your emotions are triggered, then so is your body. Emotions involve your thinking, your facial affect and physiological responses. So the first step in change is to start paying attention to the way you feel. The next step will be about your thoughts. Emotions used in the “right” way can be a powerful force in the right direction of true happiness. Emotions used in the “wrong” can be used as a powerful force of sabatoge. and misery.
