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5 Ways you may be Sabotaging Your-self! January 16, 2013

Filed under: trauma — Positive Changes 4 Women, Inc @ 6:21 pm
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Self-Sabotage is probably the number one reason so many people fail. Self-sabotage is something that you do to yourself when you feel like or believe that you don’t deserve good things to happen to you. There is a sense of guilt or shame for succeeding. Some people are afraid of success. In some cases where people have experienced trauma, they may start to associate the physiological feelings of success to same feelings of trauma.
Here are 5 ways you may be sabotaging yourself:

1: Listening to the NATs (Negative Automatic Thoughts)
On an average day we have over 60,000 thoughts a day to which we are not even aware of the majority of them. What is shocking is that the majority of these thoughts is either negative, serve no purpose or is repetitive. We refer to these thoughts as Negative Automatic Thoughts (NATs) So it should come to no surprise that these NATS control the majority of our behavior. For example; Thoughts leads to feelings. Feelings lead to Actions. Actions lead to Results. Results lead to Thoughts etc. So if I’m trying to lose 10lbs and in 3 weeks I have lost only 1lb, I may say, “this sucks, whats the point, I’m starving.” I may feel disgusted, frustrated and angry. This may lead me to eating junk food and not going to the gym that day. Which leads me to gain weight., and the results reinforce my NATs.

2: Little to no support system:
In the words of Hilary Clinton, “it takes a village to raise a child.” And if it takes a village to raise a child, how many people do you need to help you achieve your dreams? Think about it, success is rarely achieved alone. Olympic winners, Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey, Donald Trump, Beyoncé, Steve Jobs, etc have a support system they trust and go to.

3.: Surrounding your-self with the wrong people
How do you expect to achieve your goals if you surround your-self with the wrong kind of people. Would Donald Trump surround himself with procrastinators or negative people? Would Oprah Winfrey surround her-self with people who didn’t believe in her vision? Your only as good as the top five people you surround your-self with. Take a look at the people you choose to be with.

4: Letting Fears control your outcome:
Pay attention to your NATs. What are they telling you? Are you scared that if you succeed, life as you know it, may change? You may not be with the same friends, partner or spouse. You may not live in the same neighborhood. So ask your-self what is it about success that scares you?

5: Setting unrealistic goals
I see this many times in my office. People come in to my office wanting to lose weight, to better them-selves, to improve relationships etc. However, their goals are often unrealistic because their mindset is unrealistic. People often associate activity with success. But in order to set realistic goals you must have a clear vision of what you want which will allow you have to the right mindset. Looking for a quick fix such as loosing 20lbs in 20 days is unrealistic. Loosing 20lbs in 6 months may be more realistic. Change can be slow and difficult. In the world of instant gratification, it becomes more difficult to obtain the result’s you’re looking for. Ask yourself when you set up a goal if your setting your-self up for failure?

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